It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
