yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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