More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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