found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
