She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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