if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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