I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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