btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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