Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
