Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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