New invention idea: vibrating tampons
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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