Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
