Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I think people are normalizing furries
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
