4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
ttyl tear gas
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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