ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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