Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
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