Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
