butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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