I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
