Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
