Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize