...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize