summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
