Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Randomize
