It's Friday. Sex?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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