my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
