I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
