i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
