My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
