From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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