We're like a lot better than the average bears
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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