I want to have your abortion
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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