You're completely useless in the revolution.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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