Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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