At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
