ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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