Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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