Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
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We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
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Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It's rum buckets o'clock
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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