i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I need to align my fucking chakras
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
