Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
