i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
