i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
