found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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