I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
