I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
