just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I can text with my tongue
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
