I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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