I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
