I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize