I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
