I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm at about main and main street
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
