Buhtt sex?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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