You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
