i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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