What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
