just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
