Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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