Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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