No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I am one with the molecules
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
