doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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