I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
