I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
